Thursday, January 28, 2010

In My Daughter's Eyes

Mr Darling and I recently discussed that the last few weeks (months?) have been really frustrating but also fairly fun. The things of the world are frustrating. The things that will last are fun. Lately, we love watching our new little angel grow and change. Her eyes have changed the most- they are always open and alert now!

Here she is with the giant bear her Woodruff grandparents gave her for Christmas. She is now six weeks old!

And she is growing so fast! Abby's favorite pink fuzzy suit (above), given to us by a lovely neighbor, no longer fits. I managed to stuff her into it yesterday, but then Mr. Darling informed me he didn't want his daughter showing off her shoulders just yet. I suppose it is time to retire it. That just means I get to start using the 0-3 month clothes, which will be fun.

She can focus on you when you call her name, and she loves to look around the room. She especially loves the painting in the living room, staring out bright windows and at Callie the Pup. She still loves bright lights. And her Daddy. She loves to smile at him and be held by him. I am only preferred when she is hungry. I try not to take it personally.

I don't think she is going to fit in the sink during my showers for very much longer. I can usually sit her in the sink (padded with soft towels and blankets) and turn on the lights. She stares and talks to the lights while I get clean, and informs me when she is ready for me to get out with a loud squeak.

I love her squeak.

Sometimes I miss the tiny, sleepy, unfocused baby. But I adore this funny, little, alert baby just as much. I have read many blogs, received so many emails, and endured endless comments on how this motherhood thing will just get more difficult, more thankless. I also receive comments from a different quarter telling me about how much fun this adventure will be and how much joy can be found along the way. Perhaps both are true, but I really hope that I can be the latter kind of person.

While it may be amusing to liken ourselves to being invisible, doing thankless, tiring work without recognition or acknowledgement, I don't think any mother really wants to be in that situation.

I am so grateful for my little girl. She really is a wonder to me. Watching her learn and grow is amazing. She is trying to make sounds and noises. For having no vocabulary, she is a fabulous communicator. She lets me know if she is cold, if she is hungry, if she is tired (I'll admit that this one is frustrating), or if she just wants to be held. Like any of us in a situation where we cannot communicate well, she loves routine and knowing what comes next.

So far, I enjoy being a mother .

I hope that Abby knows she is loved.

I hope that as she grows, we can become friends like I am with my mother.

I hope that she turns to her father and I with her problems rather than turning to the fugitive, frustrating, fickle world.

I hope that I can stay positive, remembering this is but a fleeting moment, gone too soon, and enjoy what is simply for what is.

Put simply, I hope.


eve said...

sounds like you've got a good philosophy! thanks for coming over saturday, and also for the cute pincushion, i love it & i'm amazed at what you manage with a newborn.
you're doing so great!

jakeandjessicafillmore said...

i think that the newborn stage is definitely the biggest lifestyle change anyone mother goes through. Just when you get the hang of it, then they are ready to eat solids, then crawl. Then when you get the hang of that they start walking. Its fun but kids are always one step ahead!

Kimber and Casey said...

So I enjoyed reading your post, and at the end the I hopes, it reminds me of my favorite movie the Shawshank Redemption because Morgan Freeman uses all those hopes like you did in the end of the movie. Did this give you an idea? P.S. Abby is still so adorable. We need to see her again and P.s. this is Casey

Cherri said...

It is so true, you will blink and she will be all grown up.....too soon so, like you already know, enjoy it now and breath deep of all the new stages.... and enjoy your hope. :-)